Outhinking, Outdoing.

 ひさしぶり！Long time! I know I haven't updated "The Nomad's Journal" for some months now, but I've already written the drafts for the remaining chapters. However, I'm still contemplating on whether to publish them already or not. I don't think I'm strong enough to expose some of the "characters" and events in my life that have changed my life in more ways than one. Postponing the posting of the next chapters is actually more for these people's benefit than mine. Anyway, let me update you with my current situation...only if you care enough to know. 

Looking back 2 years ago, after rejecting the call center job opportunity, I made a promise to myself not to apply in any call center ever again.  All I really ever wanted after that day 2 years ago was to be a nurse, and after a year of working for the Department of Health, I felt that my calling was really to be a nurse---that it's the only profession that can give me fulfillment. I never thought I would be forced to swallow my own words two years after. That's right. By some twist of fate, I am now a call center agent at, you guessed it right, Convergys. Life really surprises us!

What made me decide to put my Nursing career on hold? For almost seven months, I've been trying to put myself where I really want to be, but it seemed like no matter how much I try, I just couldn't. For two months I stayed in Manila, getting lost and trying my luck in applying to several hospitals and polyclinics abroad, but none of it materialized. I came back to Bacolod, with the hope of being able to work as a volunteer nurse in one of the hospitals here, but I have never received any call from them. Even after being endorsed by the provincial governor for a position in a government hospital, I was still not accepted. For months, it almost became my obsession, until it became so frustrating! I mean, I think I have all the qualifications that I need for this job, but why couldn't I have it? What's even more frustrating is the fact that I did not know if I was only being tested, or if God was already telling me to stop, and move on to another thing. I asked God for a sign, and He gave it to me, so that is why I am putting my Nursing career/my dream on hold.

Other than the fact that I couldn't seem to find a job in the hospital, I really need some cash. I felt like at 24 I really need to start earning for myself. It beats up my self esteem, knowing that I still could not support myself, and still have to depend on my parents for allowance. 

Whether we like it or not, there will really come a time when we have to wake up from our dreams, and face reality. It doesn't mean, however, that we should give up on our dreams. I'm not giving up on my Nursing career. I'm only taking a break, and gather all that's necessary to fulfill that dream someday. For now, it will have to wait. 

A Poet's Notebook: The Curse

The Curse

I was born

Not with a silver spoon in my mouth

Nor with golden rings around my fingers.

I was born with a curse.

A curse that annihilates men,

That causes one to take a detour,

That either mends or breaks things.

To utter a word is to prepare for trouble.

To scribble a letter is to get ready for war.

Wasting saliva gets me nowhere.

An inkblot does nothing better.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: i was born with a curse that can kill more men than the atomic bomb. Written in 2007. Like some of my poems, this one made so much sense back then, too. Right now it still does, but it does make me cringe, too.

A Poet's Notebook: Pendulum

PENDULUM

Left, right, left, right
Swing, swing
Stop not.

Tick-tock, tick-tock
To and fro
Do stop.

Hush, hush
Swing, swing.
To and fro.
Back and forth.
Here and there.
Left and Right.
Center.

STOP.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this in 2007. Doesn't make much sense now, but it did when I wrote it. :D 

A Poet's Notebook: Cinderella

Courtesy of blog.nationmultimedia.com

Cinderella

She dances with him

in her ephemeral beauty

seems like forever

but midnight strikes

and it's over.

Author's Note: Written in 2006, and published in the Crossroads literary issue.

A Poet's Notebook: The News Writer in A Biology Class

The News Writer In A Biology Class

The lead:

46 chromosomes were set

To produce one human

After an egg met a sperm.

The said chromosomes contained

Genes that the baby human would inherit

From the mother human

And the father human.

Nine months later,

What used to be microscopic

Became a curly-haired miniature human,

Much to the mother's ecstasy

and the father's fury.

None of the parents have curly hair.

It is, therefore, alleged

That the woman was unfaithful;

That her egg met another man's sperm.

But the man failed to see

The other angle of the story.

Recessive traits were the culprit,

Not the baby's mommy.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is the kind of humor only I can laugh about. haha. Being a news writer for a student publication gives me headache and pressure. so does being a nursing student. Since I'm a follower of the 'like cures like' principle (lol) I wrote this poem back in 2007.

The Nomad's Journal Part 3 (The Interim Period)

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 2.5

Part 3: The Interim Period

If my life was sex, after all the excitement in the previous months, this should have been the plateau phase. Only, I probably would have never orgasmed, even if it was. 

Snakes and Ladders

It was around September, a few days after our Baguio trip, when I finally decided it was time to go back to Negros. By this time, I have already passed the board exam, and I had to go to Iloilo to process my license, anyway. I thought maybe my life was in Negros, after all. Maybe I was searching for what I really wanted in all the wrong places. It was time to say goodbye to the fun, carefree life, and start pondering on the more realistic stuff.

"It was like a game of snakes and ladders -- I got to the tallest ladder, climb up, moved on a few squares only to land on a snake's mouth taking me back where I started."

A Poet's Notebook: Untitled

Buzzes and murmurs

amidsts lessons

in quartiles and deciles--

fractiles or quantiles.

Memories floating;

Imaginations trying

To swallow reality

And realizations.

Broken poetry escapes

The writer's lips.

A wounded heart

Healed by the writer's sword.

The poet has lived

In a surreal world,

In make-believe places,

In a phantasmagoric city.

He despises love

Although he believes

That love is surreal;

Love is make-believe.

He lives in irony.

His life is a paradox.

He escapes reality,

Yet shuns away fantasy.

Author's Note: 2008. I remember writing this poem in the middle of my Statistics class back in college.

A Poet's Notebook: When All Else Fail

When All Else Fail

When the column breaks

And the metal be devoured by rust,

When the termites finish off

the last piece of furniture

And the glass all shattered into fragments,

You remain with that tiny flicker.

Author's Note: Written in 2006 for my mom, and inspired by a tragedy in the family. It was published in the Crossroads, our literary publication in high school, of which I was a news writer.

How To Plan A Trip Overnight

By thegeekgoddess

Planning a trip even weeks before schedule can sometimes be a painful task, especially if you have no local guide nor idea about the place you are going to visit. However, if you know the ABC's of traveling and can google, planning a trip overnight can be a breeze. The key is to research, research, research.

Ivan and me taking a break from our 3-hour climb to Agogolo 

Aspiring backpackers that we are, my best friends and I have a knack for going on local trips at short notice without getting lost in an unknown place. Here's how we plan it overnight.

1. Look up general facts about the place.

With search engines like Google, and a number of travel blogs on the internet, this should be fairly easy to do, unless you are going to some very remote place. Look up your destination's climate, culture, language/dialect, accommodations, and tourist spots.  

2. Make a list. 

It is difficult to decide where to go next once you arrive at your destination. Do not think about the length of your trip or your budget at this point, yet. Just go ahead and list down all possible activities you can do, where to eat, and places that you can visit.

I Sometimes Forget I Was Once A Journalist

I used to be a campus journalist for our grade school and high school publications (The Green Beacon, and Crossroads, respectively). I was also, for a short time, a news writer for the USLS school publication, The Spectrum. When I look back to my campus journalist days, I see myself really enjoying every article I write, and dreaming of becoming a famous writer someday. From seventh to eleventh grade, all I ever wanted was to win in the writing conferences held every year.

I wrote several articles during my stint as a campus writer, but this editorial here is one of the most special. It was my entry for the Editorial Writing Category during the Division Schools Press Conference 2005. It won me my first ever FIRST PLACE in the DSPC. :)

Greater Than the Other?

Year 2005 will leave a great mark on the hearts of the Bacoleños. For one reason that the much-awaited SEA Games is set to be held in the Philippines with some of the events to be hosted by Bacolod.

With too much excitement, we have forgotten something very dear to our hearts as people of Bacolod. Have we realized that lesser preparations are being made for our Masskara Celebration this year? The attention of the people is more focused on the SEA Games, or so it seems.

Compared to previous years, fewer advertisements about the Masskara Celebration in October can be seen around Bacolod or even on our local television networks. Formerly, as September draws near, Bacolod already teems with posters and commercials about the Masskara. How come this year we do not see them yet?

Furthermore, the usual enthusiasm of the Bacoleños for our mardi gras is drowned by our ebullience for the SEA Games. A big number talk about volunteering for the SEA Games, but very few can be heard mentioning the Masskara at all.

To host the SEA Games, yes, is a once in a lifetime opportunity for our country, much more for our city, but it is not all that there is. It has affected our sense of patronizing what is really ours.

Lest we forget, the Masskara celebration proves to the whole world our flexibility as Bacoleños. It shows the rest of the nations how we can still smile amidst all the crises bombarded to us.

This is not the best time to forget our identity in exchange for even the greatest international event.

A Poet's Notebook: Jealousy

Jealousy

It pierces through.

Like a toxic needle
It annihilates me.

Anguish consumes
The organ of fire
Left in silent torture.

Grief confined in ventricles
Thriving to be pumped out
Only to fathom
the impossibility.

It pricks and it stings.
It kills before it heals.



Author's Note: I wrote this in 2006 when I was in love and jealousy almost took the best out of me.

A Poet's Notebook: Winter Solstice

Winter Solstice

Cold nights never seem to end

They don't die.

They don't leave.

They shall linger.

Cold winds seep through my skin

As Darkness fills all parts of the room

'Til it no longer finds space

and takes refuge in my heart.

The absence of light

Is the absence of hope.

The absence of hope

Shall numb my senses.

I shall not see.

I shall not feel.

I shall not taste nor smell.

And I shall not hear.

'Til someday, somewhere

I shall experience death in silence.

It shall be a fine evening to you.

Not to me.

No, not for me.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I wrote this last May 29, 2007 at 8:05 PM. That's what it said in my Multiply blog. This poem was written at the height of my hopeless battle with unrequited love. It won me a poetry slam contest, though. 

A Poet's Notebook: Magnificent Wings

Photo by iardacil @ deviantart.com

Magnificent wings--

We take flight among the stars

And reach for our dreams.

Author's Note: There was a time when I really loved composing haiku. This is one of my favorites.

Say Cheese!

I was getting ready to write a review about the restaurants we ate at during our Bicol trip last weekend, when I was called for merienda. The menu: Mom's home baked carrot cake, provolone cheese and coffee. I was pleasantly surprised that the cheese actually went perfectly well with carrot cake! A sudden inspiration to write about cheese suddenly hit me. 

I grew up in a home where everyone loves cheese. I remember one time when my mom and I were grocery shopping, we decided to buy different kinds of cheese we haven't tried yet. My best friend's mom is also a big cheese fan, so I get to eat goat cheese, provolone cheese, and other kinds of cheese from time to time. You can say, my love affair with cheese is starting to get serious day by day, so why not express my love for cheese by dedicating a whole post to it? 

[disclaimer: I am not an expert on cheese, and everything I am going to write is based on personal observation, experience, and encounters with cheeses]

There are over 500 kinds of cheese, but I will only talk about the ones that I have tried. Let's start with.....